Sunday, January 18, 2009

Have you no tact?

On the first day of our childbirth class, we were invited to introduce ourselves and share one thing that we like about being pregnant and one thing we could live without.  When we arrived at the last woman in the circle, she said, "Well, I really haven't enjoyed anything about pregnancy, so I could probably just live without being pregnant again."  Hmmm, OK.  

Well, I don't think pregnancy is so bad.  Sure, 5 months of morning (more like all day) sickness, incessant back aches and unattractive clothing get old pretty quickly.  But I've really kind of enjoyed being pregnant.

However, I've discovered in my 8-ish months of pregnancy that many people say some of the most tactless things about pregnant women.  I have been the victim of these verbal episodes from thoughtless individuals.  Following such an encounter, I typically a) feel stupid myself, and b) can't believe how stupid the other person just made him/herself appear.  

So here's my list of some of the funny/odd/even rude things people have said to me recently:

---  I don't remember getting so BIG.
---  March?!  Are you sure you're going to last that long?
---  How long do you have left?  A couple of weeks?  (Reply:  No, try more like 8 weeks!)  
---  Woah, you're about to pop!
---  You have baby today, right?  (as said by Asian woman at Chinese restaurant I went to for the first time)  
---  You don't look that bad.
---  Don't worry, you'll lose all that weight in your face.
---  Oh man, you're pregnant!  
--- You're just all baby.  
---  How much weight have you gained?  

It's awkward enough waking up one morning to a tummy that gets bigger by the day.  It's discouraging enough when you try on three or four different dresses/skirts before church and none of them fit (and your husband laughs).  It's uncomfortable enough when you drop your cell phone in the car near the gas pedal and you can't reach down to get it.  I don't need someone else stating the obvious.

So, to all of you, take the advice of Dave Berry:  You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.  ("Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn.")

I like being pregnant.  Don't ruin it for me.  


Jamie said...

I agree - it's amazing what some people say to you when you're pregnant. Like being pregnant makes it okay to pretty much INSULT you! Just yesterday I was with a pregnant woman at church (who IS actually due this week) and someone said to her "Just looking at you makes me never want to be pregnant again." I almost cried for the poor girl!
I'm glad you're enjoying pregnancy though. I thought it was pretty fun too. :)

Jana said...

Katie I miss you!! I am sorry I couldn't come to your baby shower. People say the stupidest things and you wonder what the heck they are thinking. Its hard to take some of the comments when you are pregnant and emotional as it is. But it is worth everything because once they are here you seem to somehow forget it all. So enjoy every minute and keep up your good attitude!!

Audra said...

I got some really rude comments like: "holy cow you put on so much weight, you were so skinny before and now...It's going to take you a long time to lose all that weight if you can". That was the worse one. But you know... IT'S WORTH IT!!. I'm so happy for you and Dave. I want you to post some pictures of this precious belly!!

Heather said...

i love you for writing this!!

i am still in the stage where i want to shoot myself if i throw up another thing, and yet i still throw up everyday without fail! it will be over soon right?

i love the dave berry quote.... and ps when did you stop being so sick?

i need something to look forward to. june keeps getting further and further away.

steph and brent said...

Hahahaha. This is good to know. I have several friends who are 'with child' and I don't want to say the wrong thing despite the right intentions.

lizbeth said...

Nicely said, Kate-na.

Megan and Ben said...

Yes, I am just proud of you for admitting to the know though, they mean absolutely nothing. We go through A LOT for our babies and they know it (at least when they are newly born and they look into your eyes...then they forget when they grow up!). I am just so excited for you to have a little one of your own.
XOXOX Katie-
Mega-not so prego (anymore!)

the Rabes said...

I think it's funny how when you are pregnant any stranger feels like they can make a comment to you or come up and touch your belly. Why do they feel like just because your prego they can act like that. At the end of my pregnancy I wanted just to go up to a stranger and rub thier belly and say some odd comment. Then maybe they would know how it felt. Crazies!! All and all I am so HAPPY for you!! You will be such a great mother!!

Rita said...

Maria is doll! She is adorable! One more week and I had Dennis :)
7 weeks early.

Veronica Reeve said...

Oh Katie, you are hilarious. Just hope that several months AFTER you are pregnant little old ladies don't ask you if you are "nesting". Oh brother!

Sale and Jaimee said...

Oh the stories we can tell! I can bet that everyone who has been prego before can say that they have felt the same way at times. I think I heard every one of those comments when I was prego too! Along with, "are you having twins?" I was only 5 months at the time! :( It was so great to see you again and I hope to see you and everyone else in the future. P.S. Your new niece is Gorgeous!

Chelsea Waterfall said...

Ah Katie, remember when you came up for Meg's shower forever ago and you let me touch the belly? People are idiots, for reals. I am so excited for the babe child for you and I miss you! I hope everything is going well.

Jen said...

Ok, we SERIOUSLY need to catch up! BABY??? What the???? Congrats! I bet you're the hottest pregnant woman this side of the Mississippi!