Thursday, April 9, 2009

Four weeks?!

I can hardly believe this time four weeks ago I was sitting in the hospital, completely drugged up at this point, waiting for this little guy to make his entrance into the world.  Wow, four weeks?!  It has gone by so, so quickly; I can hardly believe it!
Winston's great tan is apparently legit.  After a traumatic trip back to the outpatient lab, it's been confirmed that it's not just jaundice anymore; he just has lovely olive skin (thank you Waterfalls).  It was at said laboratory trip where I learned how much I am affected by Winston.  
We wanted to make sure his bilirubin was at an appropriate level, so the doctor sent me to an outpatient lab at the hospital.  We made it there late in the afternoon and, unfortunately, the A Team had already left for the day.  The remaining personnel were, well, sub par.  The tech who provided the first three (yes, three!) heel sticks revealed her lack of skill right off the bat; "So, I use this right here on his foot?"  You don't say or ask things like this right before drawing blood.  Honestly!  

After she tried fruitlessly for about 10 minutes to get enough blood from my poor boy's little foot, the purportedly more experienced tech came to "squeeze it out of [Winston]," convinced he could get the needed amount of blood.  All the while I hovered over my screaming and, at this point, wailing little boy who has been stuck multiple times.  Then the second tech had the nerve to say, "Well, at least he'll sleep really well tonight after crying that much."  Seriously?  
Needless to say, it was absolutely horrible.  Poor Winston just cried and cried.  I could tell he was hurting.  It took everything in my not to cry along with him.   I finally said enough was enough and took Winston home.  I cried and he whimpered the whole way home.  

What did I learn?
A -- I am the advocate for my child.  If he needs something, at this point in his life it's up to me to make sure he gets it.  
B -- I now better understand the stewardship of a parent.  When Winston's happy, I'm happy.  When he's sad, I'm sad.  Up until now I could pretty easily keep my feelings to myself.  How I felt was typically based solely upon myself.  But now I find my feelings reflective of Winston's.  I feel an intense sense of ownership for his well-being and responsibility for his happiness.  

The selfless part of parenthood is a lesson I will continue to learn.   Thankfully it won't be at any more bilirubin checks.  


Matt, Chelsea & Isabel said...

Katie Waterfall????? Spain Study Abroad Spring 2003?????

I'm hoping it's the same Katie, because if not you have a twin in this universe. Weird, I found your blog off both Scott and Angie Evans (our neighbors here in WI) and Dan and Marie Skinners (I went to HS with Marie)...the mormon world is so small. Anyway, hope you don't mind that I blog stalked you and found your blog. Congrats on the little guy. VERY cute! Feel free to stalk me back, you can find my link on either of their blogs. :)

Chelsea (Porter) Rowan...Spain Study Abroad...

The Robinson's said...

Katie- you put things so well into words. Isn't it hard to watch your little guy go through pain. It's hard for me to accept that there are going to be much worse things that will cause pain to my kids. It's amazing how much being a parent changes you.
Winston is darling. Can you believe you've made it through 4 weeks? Hope you are doing and feeling well.

melissa said...

Well said, Katie. We went through the same thing with Abe with the heel sticks/bili tests. I think we counted that we did it about 13 times when all was said and done! It is very traumatic - especially for the Mom. He has beautiful skin...lucky little dude. He is beautiful too.

Jamie said...

That is so true about being your child's advocate and feeling what they feel.

We also had a similar experience when Lincoln was just born - they had to draw blood from his teny-tiny newborn veins since I was Strep B positive and the labor went so fast they only had time to give me 1 round of antibiotics. Luckily I was in the recovery room so I didn't see it, but Ryan tells me it is one of the hardest things he has ever had to watch.

Winston DOES have great skin - so lucky!

Lizbeth said...

He is so beautiful! ahhh i seriously cannot wait to meet the little guy. Katie, I miss you. It has been far too long. I hope you are doing well and I am really looking forward to seeing you! I love you and miss you soooo much! see you soon!!

Miller's said...

Oh my, isn't that the worst? It is crazy how much their feelings affect our feelings. It's like they have a piece of your heart, literally! Poor little guy. I'm glad his jaundice is gone now.

Brad and Amanda said...

Katie!! Kristina gave me your blog address and told me to look at your adorable baby that looks exactly like you! Congratulations!!! He is beautiful! I hope everything is going great :) New babies are the best! Me and Brad's blog is, check it out sometime! I'm gonna add you :) luv ya girl!

Katrina said...

Oh boy do I know how you feel! My little Asher was jaundiced for the first 5 weeks of his life! He got his heel pricked so many times. There was one time where the nurse was very incompetent and I seriously cried right along with Asher. No fun at all. We did not let that nurse touch him again.