Disregard

I received an e-mail this morning titled, "Your toddler this week."
Toddler?
Toddler?!
Gee, they don't waste any time.
Isn't there like a one week grace period?

It's true, I suppose.  Winston turns one year old today.
So long babyhood.
Welcome to toddler-dom.

I remember 365 days ago going into the hospital with the hubs.
Somehow, I didn't even remember to bring my hospital bag.
Eighteen hours later W arrived.
You.  Dear Winston.
Only, we didn't know your name yet.
That took several days.
We wanted to get to know you better.

And that's what we've been doing the past 12 months.
Getting to know you better.
Getting to know ourselves better.
Getting to know each other better.

Some of the events of this special day in 2009 are a bit hazy.

It was a long day.  

Ups and downs.

Plans made.  Then changed.  Then changed again.

But I'll never forget my feelings on the brink of midnight.

You were finally here.

D was tending to you and I got to see you for the first time.

It was like I'd caught my breath for the first time.

A big deep breath.  

He's here.

He's healthy.

He's huge!

We are happy.

I am Mom.

The last year has gone by so quickly.
Too quickly?  Yes, I think so.
Yet...
I am more than excited for all that you can experience in the next year, the next year and the one after that, too, though I may not want to admit it sometimes.

When I look back at the millions of pictures we've taken of you, I am amazed at the literal physical transformation.
It is incredible!
Somehow I feel the photos don't quite capture the real transformation of who this boy is becoming, as well as his parents.

Happy.  Learned.  Fun.  Experienced.  Playful.  Wise.  Thoughtful.  Lovey.  Patient.  Intuitive.  Curious.  Sensitive.  Strong.    

How thankful I am to be a part of that.
W, I am so happy to be your mom.  Honored.  Delighted.  Over the moon.

Grow up.  Explore.  Learn everything.
Listen to yourself.
Know who you are and remember that.  Always.
Love others.
Love yourself.
Experience all that is good.
(Just take us along with you :) Please. )

I never quite understood how some mothers always referred to their children as their babies.
But I've learned one's age doesn't determine this title.
It is endearment.
It is a feeling.
It's a recalling of one's purest state.
Baby.

For this reason, I join that group of moms.
You'll always be my baby, W, regardless of what those e-mails say.

Happy birthday baby boy!  I love you, Bubs.