This Is Me

Here I am.  Me.  In my pink, fluffy robe. The robe I've probably worn EVERY single day since the day I got it.  I never was much of a robe person.  But when I became hugely prego, nothing seemed to fit.  Duh.  But it seemed I was hot 80% of the time, too.  So when walking around the house in my shapely bod, if the heat suddenly came on, I could untie that belt in a second and that robe would fly open for some fresh air.  Not a pretty sight.  Or a pretty visual impression in your head either.  But it's me.  It is what it is.

In response to this and this, I am going to attempt to write a post sans the "delete" key.  Ah shoot, I just used it!  So, aside from using....again!    OK, in this post I will bear all (I'm comfortable with), even those unsightly spelling/typographical errors.  Here we go.

• I am unsatisfied with my blog.
• I don't think it accomplishes what I want it to.  
• But what do I want it to do anyway?  I mean, really? 
• Sometimes I feel like I write for someone out there, whom I don't really know (I just used that blasted key...shame on me!) but whom I really, really want to impress.
• I write to show pics and keep up with family.
• But I don't think that's my goal.
• Sometimes I use the delte (dang it!) key way too often.
• Why can't I rjust write what I feel like.?
• Although sometimes, I admit, I have to use the delete key to lwipe away bad words. 
• Yes, I think those basd words.  
• sometimes a lot
• I am not proud of it.
• But I am proud, or I probably shouldn't say the word proud,
• but I am glad -- how 'bout that instnead -- that I at least erase those words before they are published for anyone and everyone to see.
• Actually, I wish everyone would see them [what I write].
• But everyone doesn't.
• I love thise motherhood gig.
• It
• s fun.  It's a challenge.  
• I love this little man I get to hang out with.
• But lately it's hard.
• I've really tried not to complain about the little things of raising a child.
• it's the reality of it.  I should/need to get used to it.
• But this week it seems he's changed.
• I don't know if I can basque in the loveliness of turning my head every five seconds to find him hanging off the fireplace, lip banged up, and snot/slobber literally EVERYWHERE.
• It's not fun.  I don't like this.  And I will complain about it.  
• Frankly, it's gross.  But it's life.  
• Sometimes it isn't always what I want it to be.  But it is what it is.  I don't have to like it.
• But I can appreciate it.  I can learn from it.  
• But I refuse to learn the beauty of a snotty nose.  I don't think I'll ever appreciate it, either.  
• I don't think anyone who happens to ever read my stuff with ever appreciate that either.
• Nor do I think they should.
• So what would a reader appreciate?
• Since I'm likely related to and/or attended school with 99.9% of you readers, you probably would mostly appreciate pictures of the fam and what we're doing.
• But I'm putting  you to the side for a minute.
• What would I appreciate?  (Selfish, isn't it?)
• I would appreciate reading/seeing glimpses into my life:  Lessons learned, experiences had, funny things, stupid things.  But turning these everyday things into words worth reading.  
• Maybe that's it.  
• I really like to write.  But I really don't like to spend the time doing it.
• Interjection:  speaking of snot, one of my books is being covered in it as we speak.
• Continuing...
• I'd like this blog of mine to be my own.  My own report, if you will.
• My report of turning my everyday into something I'm proud of. 
• Making small things beautiful, cool, unique, mine.  
• Whatever I want them to be.
• Is that what I'm doing or not?  
• I think I'd like to report on how I learn to see or appreciate things from a different angle.  
• Nonetheless, my title is most appropriate, in that I aim to keep things clean and simple, not cluttered and over-complicated.
• Kind of like a list of bullts:  the facts.
• Yesterday I didn't get dressed until 4:00 in the afternoon.  The previous day, although I'd gotten dressed earlier, I looked in the mirror around 4:00 and did a double take.
• Ooph.
• I didn't look so good.
• I wasn't satisfied with how I looked.
• It reflected how I felt that day:  worn out.
• but it was me.  And on third glance, I was OK with it.
• It is what it is.  
• It is to be appreciated.
• I don't think it is settling for mediocrity or "letting myself go."
• It is being comfortable with who I am rather than what I look like.
• We're familiar with the scripture, "The natural man is an enemy to God."
• Does that mean the unnatural (wo)man is a friend to God?
• I don't think so.
• I do think it's the real (wo)man, the tempered, thoughtful, honest one.
• Sometimes I might have to retract or second guess or delete initial words when I write.  But that doesn't mean my final post doesn't reflect who I am
• Rather, it's putting my best, or perhaps better foot forward.
• When I look in the mirror and don't revel in my reflection, I more and more find myself thnking, "You're OK katie.  It's all OK"
• So I aim to be more of me.  I aim to be real.  
• If my blog is reflective of that, I will be satisfied.
• Delte key, pink robe and all.