Still Lovely

{tumbler via marta}

It's snowing outside!  Beautiful, white, peaceful snow.  The house is quiet.  Baby's still sleeping.  Ahhhh.  Perfection.  Until the day (read:  chaos) really starts, these few quiet moments are priceless.

It certainly isn't always like this.

The last couple of days have been exhausting.  Aside from cleaning a few closets and such, I really haven't done much of anything.  I've been wearing the same sweats three of the last four days.  Nope, make that four for four; I'm wearing them now.  I've only made dinner once.  I haven't ventured beyond a one mile radius of my home by myself.  And I'm not even depressed or anything.  I'm just so tired!

I suppose my nighttime sleep is getting less and less productive with this ever-growing bowling ball of an abdomen.  When the clock reads about 11:45 (yes, that's  a.m.), I am so wiped out I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone feed, entertain, play with and seem functional to Winst.  I feel like a drunk on the verge of consciousness, just begging for 1:00 to near so I can feel justified in putting W down for a nap.  But based on what I could find in my house (or that one-mile radius) I'm only drunk off this baby growing inside me (read:  that's sucking the life out of me).    

But redemption!  When Dave came home last night the first thing he said was, "The house looks clean."  I asked him if he was serious because I was shocked.  And he was.  Completely sincere.  This pretty well made my day, especially after having cleaned up the same books and toys 35,000 times.  Kind of pathetic.  But accurate.    

I read an article earlier this week I haven't stopped thinking about.  In a nutshell, the author discusses her fascination/obsession/anxiety for authenticity of the "Mormon housewife blogs."  No doubt, the Internet is flooded with loads of them -- some Mormon and some not -- which paint the picket-fence-picture-perfect-life we all want to punch through the computer screen or guilt ourselves to shame over said blog jealousy.  But to me, the author put it perfectly:

"...the basic messages expressed in these blogs -- family is wonderful, life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrate the small things -- are still lovely. And if they help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, 'Right on.'" 

In my heart of hearts, I can honestly say I've put forth a good effort to portray a realistic picture of my life on this little speck of mine in the world of blog land.  I can only hope I have expressed a message like she stated, of the little things still being lovely.  And I really appreciate when I can relate to another's honesty (like this), even if my relationship with this other person is only through my Google Reader.

Marriage and motherhood are awesome...and challenging and frustrating and rewarding and on and on and on.  My little blog is my outlet to journal my life, think out loud, see and share pretty and not-so-pretty things.  But overall, I want it to be a place where I feel comfortable being me, which is a mom and a wife and...Katie.  Clean and simple...sometimes.

Life is far from perfect.  I think most people can agree with that.  But we can all choose whether to be fulfilled or fed up with it.  So I suppose that means we can all choose to paint the picture we want because we can choose what we get out of the every day.  

I'm just trying to make my every day chaos something lovely.

To each her own.